I never really wrote for myself. Though i loved writing prose from as long as i can remember. Writing a good piece made me happy, but it was never enough. I needed the high from someone else telling me how good it was. And so i never wrote without an audience in mind. Now i sit in front of the computer to update my blog and find that i have lost my audience. (understandably of course, because who waits a year and more to find out what you are up to and what eats interest you) And i realize it really is time for me to write for myself. To get lost in my words, so that they may make me happier than what i am. To find paths through my mind that will excite me, as i walk the same old roads everyday in the physical world. To accept that it's alright to not always have to be proclaimed as the best, just to be the best within your unchangeable circumstances without giving in to despair. I need to put these into written words to believe them, to read again when that despair starts to creep up.
